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Wednesday, June 30, 2010  i miss you love. It's getting so irritating looking back at my really emo posts. SO I SHALL JUST SHUT UP MY GAP UP. okay the illness is getting back but i'll overcome it! 4 papers down, one more to go! how? Monday, June 28, 2010 It's time like this that I really feel like dying. I hate lonely nights like this. And I really hope someone out there will help to pull me through these nights. I've got a paper tomorrow but I just feel like giving it up all. I don't even have the energy even think about it. I think I've got some problems dealing with my emotions. It's getting so bad that even when I'm with my friends, I feel lonely and sad. I began to stop talking, stop fooling around with them and just isolate myself. I don't know whats wrong with me. I just don't feel ME anymore. Even MBP says I'm suffering from emotional disorder. I'll sort out my emotions soon. I hate feeling like this. I really hope those people I love will be happy. I love my family. <3 Saturday, June 26, 2010 One more week. Just one more week. I can hardly wait. I need a life. I feel so suffocated. I want to die. how? Friday, June 25, 2010 i really hope i can do something to make you all proud of me. but i'm such a failure. my studies are going downhill, failing all the subjects i'm once good at. i dare not even show you all my result slip, cos its just that bad. i don't know what else i can do already. i really don't wish to disappoint you all. ]: i love my daddy and mummy. I feel like crying now and in fact I am. the worst thing is I feel sad and I had no idea why. i really hope you can be by my side now. root canal is a sucker! I just had my second root canal operation today ]: and those injections and knives and shit scares me off already seriously. i will cut down on my sweets already. juse please dont let it come again ]: 18chefs twice but i chose the totally wrong sauce this time round. arggs! gohjunrui is such a dear to accompany me for my treatment today. and and and, he went there by himself also. okay la thanks laa okay? to make up for the bad times you given me. :D but you're a dickhead still. >< <3 dickhead. Tuesday, June 22, 2010  You can ignore the girl behind. I don't know why she posed for the photo too -.- LOLL. HELLO DICKHEAD. You're really a sucker. Do you know how much I hate you? Katherine Yong, you're the best la okayy! :D Always laugh at me when I'm in pain. I'm SO GLAD to have you as a friend! awwwwww <3 lifeless, Monday, June 21, 2010 I feel guilty for not studying but I seriously want to just enjoy myself during the holidays. I can't stand the feeling of being outside with your loves but do not feel that happy cos you know you had tons of work to do back home. SUCKER. I really really am not cut out for JC. The life there is like totally dull, boring and very uninteresting. Not to mention the lifeless, mugging and selfish type of classmates and friends I had there. Sorry to say this, but I really dislike them. XZ, please share the same view as me. Now, what matters most is my dickhead darling, my family, CHJKX, my MBP, & a few random trusted friends I had. Thats all, the rest can really fuck off (: Sorry for not replying your messages, but I really don't want to go out with you.
Just leave me alone. Please try your best to realise I dislike you.
Bcos I really do. ex boyfriend. Sunday, June 20, 2010 Okay so anyway, I just happen to chanced onto jasper's facebook. In case you do not already know, he was my ex. My very bad past. Looking through all his photos just makes me wonder.. and doubt the fact that we once actually were that close, shared a few months of sweet and sour memories and we were once couple. I can't believe I was once together with him. Not in a bad way. But in the way that I really couldn't really remember much of our times together. What we actually talk about on the phone for hours. All I remember was our anniversary is on the 20th january; we lasted for only a mere 5months; we were super close and touchy even in school and class; how he cannot speak Chinese for nuts and HOW MUCH HE ACTUALLY LIED TO ME! He once told me he is from some gang and is very notorious and got into a very serious fight with some other enemies of his. Then he used this knife to stab this guy till he lose blood and had to be admitted to the hospital and how he hide the knife(with the blood stains) on top of his cardboard. Yeah he told this to many others too. Hweiteng, you still remember? I remember I lost my phone during the period when I'm with him and how ridiculously the whole incident was. And how Felicia and I could not even figure it out the whole thing. Thinking back, I really suspected he took it. I wanted to only type a paragraph but I had no idea when I typed that much. I think I should stop. Anyway, I really regretted being with him since he was my official first and he just definitely do not fit to be it. Loser. LLLLL! I dared to type it out because I know this blog is confided to only a small group of friends I trust. So yeah. Oh anyway, GJR if you're reading this, you can try to be jealous bcos I really don't mind :D OKAYY LAA. I LOVE YOUUU! <3 I really dislike you. Saturday, June 19, 2010 I seriously hate those bitches out there who are so paranoid and take things so freaking seriously. Such minor stuffs and you can make a big fuss out of it, spoiling friendship on the way. It's not like I give a damn about this friendship anyway. But please reflect on your tone. You're the first I had ever came across being so ridiculous. YOU are the one who wanted a perfect piece of work. I told YOU that we do not have to put in that much effort since it is just a sharing and no grades or appreciation will be given. I told YOU other groups just copy-and-paste and am done with it within 5minutes but YOU insisted again in giving perfect work and we had to spend 3hours doing it. Since it had been months ago, I'm over it. But now YOU just had to bring up the past and told us how much work YOU had actually done and YOU deserve the most credit. Seriously, just fuck off. I had already two arguments with you within half a year and I don't wish to have another heated one. It just lower my status to argue with you. I've sent you a harsh message, please imply my meaning yourself. And stop being such a loser. I really dislike you. And I'm glad I'm not the only one. poker and jasmin. Friday, June 18, 2010 Hello. I love my boyfriend. But I don't think my boyfriend loves me. He loves poker now more. Poker > Jasmin. Aw dickhead, I feel so replaceable ]: Sad face. Thursday, June 17, 2010 I don't wish to return back to school tomorrow. Actually, I just hate it that I had to face them. I dislike the times when I'm with them. Maybe I should distance myself. i just want you, Tuesday, June 15, 2010  ♥  sick tired hurt, I feel damn miserable now. I'm having one of my worst nights for sure. Tell me how to survive tonight without screaming to my pillows and crying myself to sleep. I really hate waking up with those swollen eyes. But i hate surviving the night ALONE more. Just give me a shoulder to cry on and give me the drug to erase all my memories. i feel so pathetic being me. i hate everything about me. nothing seems to be going my way. even my only pillar of strength is weakening. i seem to be standing alone now. i feel like i'm alone at some jungle with ten hungry lions in front of me, and i am to fight them barehanded if not i would end up being their meal. yes. i'm feeling that helpless. i don't know how else i can survive, how else i can tolerate. and most importantly, what could i actually do to make you understand. i just want your attention and understanding towards me. i just want you to stand by me. i just want you to care more about me. i just want you to be there for me when i cry. is it that hard to ask for ? i am really just simply very sick of all these nonsense. i just want to be alone somewhere. fuck my life. letters, Monday, June 14, 2010 Sometimes, it would be really great to receive letters from your loved ones. Still remember those sec1 days where I always rush home to write letters for my good friends then. :D I love the surprise element when opening the letter. HAHAHAHA. Maybe I shall start writing some to my loved ones soon. Yeah if I can ever stop procrastinating. I hate procrastination. Its a bitch. Since my boyfriend and I started dating in the 5th grade he sent me a letter every week anniversary. One day, I sat across from an old couple on the train. woah so sweeet (: Boy: You know what? Girl: What? Boy: Next time i see you, don't wear that skirt again, it's too revealing Girl: Why? I thought you loved that skirt Boy: Next time, wear something that reaches to your ankles Girl: Ok whatever Boy: A dress that reaches to your ankles.. and wear long white gloves that reach to your elbows Girl: What? Boy: Trust me Girl: What are you trying to do? Hide me from everyone? Boy: Do up your hair as well real pretty Girl: Are You listening to what i'm saying? You're so conservative, don't choke me like this... Are you kidding me? Boy: I'm dead serious. Girl: You know i dont like guys who boss me around Boy: ... Wear a veil Girl: ... what? Boy: Wear this ring too Girl: .... Boy: Marry Me AWWW <33 Sunday, June 13, 2010 where are you? cycling @ ECP. Saturday, June 12, 2010     
group photo! i love this :D i had fun yesterday :D but i learnt about something which made me rather unhappy. but it doesn't really matter i guess. Love! <3 dickhead is finally coming back today from his scuba diving course in malaysia! :D Friday, June 11, 2010 18chefs today made me sick. i hate the black pepper. football. Okay. This is weird. Really weird. I find myself unknowingly sitting in front of the tv watching the football match. -.- and surprisingly, find it very interesting. what a waste of time. -.- Hello. Can I eat you? (: Tuesday, June 8, 2010 I want to go to the Science Centre! I want to go to the Philatelic Museum! I want to go to some Flea Market and get some cheap bargains. I want to go to town and spend some money. It's GSS now! I want to watch any random movies!
I want to eat eat eat and eat! BUFFET! (: Hello GJR. If you're here, this list is for you (: thank you in advance. >< NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM Monday, June 7, 2010 Oh yeah. Kenny show me this video some time back and i happen to chanced upon it again today. OMGGGGGG. SOOO SOO ADORABLEEE (: Pictures (: Okay. Since my blog looks really really plain and boring now without any pictures. I shall upload a few of my fav pictures taken within this period (: There's like the genghao's birthday celebration, guitar concert! (: & IKEAAAA! :DD  i love the flowers! :DDD  OKAY. I really really like this photo :DD Even though i don't look nice, but its like a photoshoot kinda thing minus the special lightning and effect of course. We're like sooo natural and i just love the whole 'feel' of it (: and panda is so cutee. awww.    FTW (: I.need.food.right.now. Hahaha yeah I created another new blog as I figured I needed a platform to like say something or at least record some of my memories. >< Abandon the OnSugar's blog as I grew terribly bored of it and yeah, blogger should be the safest choice. So anyway, don't be too loyal a reader as I definitely would not update this space that often. Maybe only once a week? :X I miss my dickhead. Wait. Just trying out. There seems to be a problem with the html codes. Whatever. |
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